They're not all that bad

A few quotes from my boss (head of our programming team):

We're going to make cardboard images of everyone of our team and are going to place them in our seats. Every week only one of us will come to work, and this person will do the work of every team member. This way we will have to work hard for one week, but we will only have to come once every six weeks.

We will have a team meeting later, but since Jose is sick we will have to go to his apartment to have the meeting.

We're going to have a meeting in the cafeteria outside the premises. Take your coat and act naturally. (whispering, because he knows we're not allowed to)

Nobody I know works on a Friday afternoon until 6. Only we do. This is inhuman.

Damn, I have to go to this boring meeting this afternoon. I'm so gonna fall asleep. Does anybody want to go in my place?

If they tell you that they want it done by tomorrow, just tell them it's impossible. If they insist, tell them to call me.

They asked me if I wanted the mobile phones for the team. I said no. Imagine that they start calling us in the weekend.

I saw that this job shouldn't be done until 2 months from now. So take it easy.